Breakups are something that happens in life and it really sucks. For most of the people this happens more than once, of course there are some amazingly lucky people who never experienced that. Everyone go through the breakups in a different way, for some people a week is enough to get over it, for other even years after the relationship is over they are not completely recovered. Because latterly this is healing process no matter what kind of a relationship you had and the reason for ending it. Everyone needs some time to get over it and move on!
Every breakup is stressful and full with disappointment, broken promises, plans and dreams which will never come true, loneliness, fear and pain. No matter if breaking up was the best option because of a toxic and unhealthy relationship the feelings are the same just different reasons. Is stressful after certain period of time to be alone again, your comfort zone is gone, fear is kicking in (Am I going to able handle it all by myself; How I am going to be able to pay the bills; What if no one else want to be with me; I don`t know how to be alone and so on); all habits you had and build for the period of your relationship needs to be changed again because you are ALONE! Yeah is really painful and stressful but is not the end of the world and you CAN get over it!
How!? There is not really a recipe for it and don’t expect to find a list with 10 things witch you have to do and voilà. Go sport, collect 5 mushrooms, 2 frogs and herbs from the forest, abracadabra and you will be happy again. Is going to take time and well – efforts!
They are ways which can help you to go through the process, they could sound very cliché but amazingly they do the job
- Very important thing – DON’T ALOW YOURSELF TO STAY IN BED, ALONE AT HOME AND LET YOURSELF BE DOWN – DON’T !!!!
- It will be a lot more easier if you realize that is REALLY OVER, many people after they breakup keep dreaming of some magical and romantic ways how everything changes and they lived happily ever after. I am sorry but the fact that you came to the point of taking the decision to go separate ways means that this is over. No matter how painful it is, when something is broken or doesn’t function properly sometimes can’t be fixed! As fast you accept the idea that this is the end of your relationship, as fast you are going to be able to move on with your life.
- Give yourself time to think over it, analyze the situation see where are you standing in all this, but don’t burn out your brain. Think about what are your mistakes and yes you made some as well, in a relationship are always two sides so along the way you defiantly made some. Admit them, accept them and learn from them! Don’t act like you never did anything, relationships are very complicated and is never so simple. Is always she did then he did and then again she did and then hi did and after 100 times like that – they broke up! Blaming the other side is not going to make it easier or less painful. Clear out the situation and reasons for yourself. Don’t get to an arguments and fights with your ex who is right and who is wrong, this is just going to prolong the agony!
- Talk about it, there is for sure someone in your life with who to talk about it. Don’t keep it inside yourself it will get worse. Share your pain, let it all out! Most of the time people who are not involved emotionally directly like you are in the situation can help you see everything from other angle and sometimes this is very helpful for you to realize what actually happened and why. Sometimes people like to take a position on some maters and they are not willing to change it, which is not allowing them to solve the problem with themselves. They carry this in them years, even after they start a new relationship. Talk about it till the moment there is nothing to be said anymore! Till you feel you took out the load and there is this quiet, empty space and your pain! Your look is empty and your heart is broken! But this is better than keeping anger or hate, just let all go!
- Cry it out! Yup cry if you feel like, as much as you feel like as long as you need! Doesn’t matter if you are man or woman we are all humans and we all have feelings. If this is something which is going to release the pressure then do it!
- Don’t do stupid things! Alcohol, drugs and partying almost every night and being in short relationships is not really going to help you. They can fill up the emptiness for a moment or two but there is possibility to make you fell even worse, not to talk about that it can get you in trouble which is definitely not going to make the situation more bearable! And buying unnecessary stuff is going only to reflect on your budget!
- Make yourself a favor, stop looking at the social media you are not going to find your answers there. Stop checking your phone and trying to see if your Ex is online, who is texting with or is he/she going out, who are those people on the photo next to him/her, when was the last time he/she was up. Is understandable that you want to know where they are and what they are doing, and the most important of all did they replace you with someone else and after how long after you broke up. To see that the other person is capable to continue with their life and function without you is devastating for some people. Straight away rise thoughts; “He/Shi doesn’t miss me, doesn’t love me and so on; is not necessary to be like that! They can be still deign inside but they just found a way to move on with their life. But thinking about what they do and how they feel is not going to help you. Is nice for you to know after a month or two that they still love you but this doesn’t change absolutely anything, except making your suffer longer. So just focus on how do you feel and find a way for yourself to move on with your life! Can you!?
- Put your energy on all of the things you were not able to do till now, sine up for the painting class you always wanted, buy yourself a ticket for the places you wanted to see even if you have to go alone. Don’t be afraid to be alone! Go back to your hobby which you dump because; who have time for things like that! – Well now you have, so do it! Take time for yourself, read your favorite book, listen music you love, do something which makes you feel good!
- Starting a physical activate is something which everyone will recommend you. And it really works! This number one stress enemy, no matter what you would choose – dancing, gym, martial arts, yoga or outside activities they will all have the same effect. You batteries will be charged with positive energy, more confidence, more physical strength which automatically gives you more self-esteem, meeting new people will bring you new positive emotions and make you realize that to be alone is not necessary a bad thing!
- Don’t be afraid of changes – sometime breakups can be related with big changes. The end of relationship is already a big one by itself, but it also can be engaged with changing job, changing the place you are living – the apartment or the house, the neighborhood or the town. It is scary and is definitely will be far from easy. But what are the options!? Being afraid and stressed about it, none of this will help you, or change something in a better way. You have to find your new way and move on! They are very few things in life which are not possible, everything else is up on us and our will! Is going to be hard and painful, it will be scary but it will pass!
- Pain is temporary if you don’t let it stay forever. Learn from your experience, don’t let it to lead you! All this should be a process to build you stronger and better, to learn from your mistakes, not allowing all this to damage you! Breakups are hard and painful but only we decide if WE let them make us or break us!